FAQs - Birthmom FAQ
Making a decision about adoption can be difficult. Can you help me?
What services can Adoptions Together provide for me?
What if I have counseling and assistance through the agency and then decide I don't want to go through with the adoption?
Do I have to talk to a lawyer?
If I live at home, do my parents have to know about the adoption? Can my parents force me to do an adoption? Can they stop me?
Does the father of the baby have to know? What if I'm not sure who he is, or how to get in touch with him?
Can I choose and meet the adoptive parents?
What if I do not want to meet the parents?
Will I get to see my baby at the hospital?
Suppose there is something wrong with my baby--can you still help me make an adoption plan?
How will I know if my baby is okay after the adoption?
What about me, after the baby leaves?
Will my baby go into foster care?
What should I do if I want to talk with someone about adoption, or if I have a friend who wants to learn more about adoption?
Making a decision about adoption can be difficult. Can you help me?
We believe our task is to educate and counsel you so that you can decide if adoption is the best choice for you and your child. You will have your own counselor who will meet with you and help explore the situation. We can provide counseling for you and the birth father, as well as for any other family members or important people in your life.
What services can Adoptions Together provide for me?
We're willing to meet with you wherever it's most convenient to help you sort out your options, talk them over, and answer any questions you have. In addition to supportive counseling, we can help with medical care, transportation to medical appointments, medical assistance, and legal counsel.
What if I have counseling and assistance through the agency and then decide I don't want to go through with the adoption?
Should you explore adoption and realize it is not right for you, we will help guide you to the necessary resources to assist with your parenting plan. At our agency, you will never be pressured to make an adoption plan.
Do I have to talk to a lawyer?
If you are under eighteen, the law requires that you have legal representation. If you are over eighteen, legal representation is not mandatory. An understanding of your legal rights in an adoption is critical. We'll be happy to provide you with a list of attorneys who specialize in adoptions, or you may use an attorney of your choice at no cost to you.
If I live at home, do my parents have to know about the adoption? Can my parents force me to do an adoption? Can they stop me?
You are not legally required to tell your parents that you are pregnant or that you are planning an adoption. They have no legal right to the child. We can help you work with your family during this difficult period.
Does the father of the baby have to know? What if I'm not sure who he is, or how to get in touch with him?
Adoption law requires that the birth father be notified about the adoption. If you don't wish to speak to him or see him again, we can take care of notifying him and trying to locate him. We understand that these situations can be difficult and often painful. We're here to help--not to pass judgment. In those situations where we are unable to locate the father -- if you're not sure of his last name, or if he's disappeared -- other legal approaches are available to complete the adoption.
Can I choose and meet the adoptive parents?
YES! It's very important to us that you're satisfied with your decision. We complete thorough evaluations of all of our prospective adoptive families to assure that they are emotionally, physically, and financially prepared to parent a child. In most situations, you will be able to review a letter and photo album that adoptive families have prepared. If meeting prospective families is important to you, we will arrange that and will be there to support you. We will also work with you to help determine what type of relationship you want with the adoptive parents.
What if I do not want to meet the parents?
It is not required for you to choose and meet the adoptive family. Should you desire, we can select an adoptive family for you based on your specific requests and preferences.
Will I get to see my baby at the hospital?
You are in charge of how much contact you want to have with your baby in the hospital. Some birth mothers choose to spend a limited amount of time with the baby, while others choose to spend every minute with the baby while in the hospital. Still others decide to have no contact at all--the choice is completely yours.
Suppose there is something wrong with my baby--can you still help me make an adoption plan?
We are fully committed to work with you regardless of the health of your child. If your baby is born with a medical problem, we will find a loving family equipped to handle the special needs that he or she may have.
How will I know if my baby is okay after the adoption?
Many birth parents feel more comfortable and reassured when they keep in contact with their selected adoptive family as the child grows. For some, this communication is in the form of letters and pictures exchanged through the agency. For others, direct contact and visits occur. Still others choose to have no contact at all. We will work with you to come up with an individualized plan that is most comfortable for you.
What about me, after the baby leaves?
Our services do not simply end after your adoption plan is made--we're here for you for as long as you need us.
Will my baby go into foster care?
Adoptions Together provides a unique infant care program for birthparents who are deciding whether to parent or look into adoption. During this time infants are placed in temporary care where they receive all the love, warmth, and nurturing they need from loving families. All babies also receive proper medical care while in our infant care program. Please call 1-800-439-0233 or email lmorgan@adoptionstogether.org.
What should I do if I want to talk with someone about adoption, or if I have a friend who wants to learn more about adoption?
Please feel free to call the agency (1-800-439-0233) or contact Susan Ogden, Domestic Program Director at telephone 301-439-2900 or email sogden@adoptionstogether.org at any time, seven days a week. We welcome your call, and would be happy to answer any questions you may have. If you'd like, we could also make an appointment to meet with you in-person at either of our offices or at a location you desire.
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